Private Matters Psychotherapy Logo

Are You Stuck In Your Comfort Zone?

. Written by Marleen Filimon

When you evaluate your life, the way it is now, are you happy with where you have ended up? Or do you look at your life now and say “This is not what I had in mind for myself”.

If you are not where you want to be in your life, it is probably because you are stuck in your comfort zone. A comfort zone is not necessarily a good zone to be in. It is a zone where you feel at ease with who you are, you know what to expect and how you will react. It’s a zone where you feel (somewhat) in control of your environment and where painful emotions such as stress and anxiety are at its minimum. Sound familiar?

Being comfortable is great and sometimes needed. But being too comfortable in your own surroundings, while wondering why you have not achieved all the goals you have set out for yourself, creates a sense of stuckness. It sucks you into a vacuum of vicious cycles, in which you suffer internally but are not able to come up with the next move.

“Staying in your comfort zone will ensure you never know the full extent of your abilities, the depth of your character, or the scope of your potential.”

– Roy T. Bennett, Roy T. Bennett is an author and speaker who has written several self-help books.

There are many reasons why people might feel stuck. Here are some examples:

Here are four reasons why people can feel emotionally stuck:

  1. Unresolved past traumas: Emotional wounds from past experiences can linger and affect our ability to move forward emotionally. Traumatic events like abuse, neglect, or loss can leave us feeling overwhelmed, stuck, and unable to process our feelings.
  2. Negative self-talk: The way we talk to ourselves can have a significant impact on our emotional well-being. Negative self-talk can create a cycle of self-doubt and self-criticism that keeps us from moving forward emotionally.
  3. Lack of boundaries: Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships, but they can also impact our emotional health. Without clear boundaries, we may find ourselves in toxic or draining relationships that leave us feeling emotionally stuck.
  4. Fear of vulnerability: Opening up to others and being vulnerable can be scary, but it’s necessary for deep and meaningful connections. Fear of being judged, rejected, or hurt can keep us from sharing our feelings and building close relationships.
Yellow Tree
“Feeling stuck is a sign that it’s time to make a change, to take a step forward into the unknown and discover what’s waiting for you on the other side.” 
Yellow Divider
– Unknown

Getting Unstuck

The good news is that there are ways of getting yourself unstuck and moving forward, learning more about yourself and challenging yourself. Growth is something we all strive for, but also something that is difficult to obtain. Stepping out of your comfort zone, into the unknown, can be scary. Don’t let fear tell you what you can and cannot do.

Here are four ways to get you started:

What Is Out There?

What is out of your comfort zone? What are some things you would like to achieve but are afraid of because of possible failure or embarrassment? Start becoming familiar with your fears and discomforts. You can only work on what you know, not what you don’t know.


Set some goals for yourself, but keep them small. Minimize the risk of “failing”, keep your goals small and set yourself up for success. Daily goals are better to start you off on the right track than yearly goals.

Don’t Let Fear Weigh You Down

Get comfortable with the discomfort of pushing yourself. Some challenges will be tougher than other ones, but how else will you step out of your comfort zone? Fear is not something to be afraid of. Let it guide you and motivate you to keep pushing yourself. mindfulness is a great tool to teach yourself to work with the feeling of fear, instead of hiding from it.

Be Honest With Yourself

You know when you are making excuses for why you should start working out tomorrow instead of today. Don’t kid yourself, be honest. You want success? You go get it!
Enjoy the little successes that you will accomplish. Be proud of what you have achieved.

Take a moment to reflect on what’s holding you back. Is it a lack of clarity, fear of the unknown, or something else? Once you’ve identified the root cause of your feeling stuck, create a plan to move forward. This might involve trying new things, seeking support from friends or a therapist, or simply taking small steps towards your goals. Remember, you don’t have to have all the answers or know exactly where you’re headed. The important thing is to start taking action, even if it’s just a small step. Don’t let fear or doubt keep you from living the life you want. Embrace the unknown and see where it takes you.

Marleen Filimon - Business Owner - PMP Matters
Everyone can use someone to talk to once in a while. If you’re feeling stuck, it’s time to take action and make a change. Don’t let fear or uncertainty hold you back from the life you want to live. 
Book A Free Consultation
Marleen Filimon is the founder and CEO of Private Matters Psychotherapy
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram